While trying to conceive (TTC), my emotions were off the charts. The sight of babies in strollers in the diner or the celebrities touting a baby fashionista made me not only scowl but cry sometimes. Or cry all the time.
My sister in laws had children and their birthday parties sucked so hard. I spent most of my time speaking with the elders and avoiding the children. Were I to play with the children, someone would say, “You are so wonderful with kids! Why not your own?” Crap like that.
You KNOW what I am talking about.
Anyway. Most people were quietly polite which made things worse for me. ‘What were they thinking? I know what they are thinking? They feel sorry for me.’ Or in my MIL and SIL’s (see earlier posting on that nugget) case, I knew they were thinking, ‘She is doing something ALL wrong. We had children young so….it HAS to be all her.”
I was thinkin’, now that 2010 is right around the corner, why NOT purge the statements or stares?
Why not exclaim, “CHECK THIS OUT! IT’S SO MESSED UP!” And tell me, WHAT IS THE ABSOLUTELY and I mean ABSOLUTLEY, POSITIVELY WORST thing someone said or did to you regarding your lack of bundle in your arms?
BE candid. BE angry. Be funny (if you wish.) And let’s just get it out there. And voo doo curse em’ (not really.)
The worst thing someone told me was, “Hon. Why not kids? What’s WRONG with you? I can see in your eyes I am upsetting you but EVERYONE is too polite to ask so I will. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You are not a young, pretty thing anymore so get to it.”
This was spoken not by someone who knew me but from a work acquaintance I saw maybe once a year. She did not even know my last name. She was also a struggling actress so I said, “Sharon. You’ve been struggling with your acting for some time and well, what’s wrong with YOU? Everyone is too polite to ask you, what’s wrong with YOU? Why aren’t you Angelina Jolie? Is it because you are middle aged and missed that boat?”