The waiting room at my doctor’s office was like one of the worst experiences to deal with.

Seriously.

I will never forget it, not even a year and a half later.

You gals and guys know what I am talking about, don’t you?

The same faces every day (since the visits are often) and no one looks one another in the eye. Not ever. Once I got the nastiest look from a woman who was eyeballing my red clogs. I sensed she was thinking, “Gawd. Who does she think she is?” on the surface. But she REALLY was thinking was, “If SHE gets pregnant and I don’t? I will hate her forever. The bitchwiththeredclogs. Hate. HER.”

Exactly.

I suggest that a book should be in your handbag or knapsack at all times. Don’t bring a magazine. People will think you swiped it from the seating area.

Sometimes the wait will grate on your nerves because not only are you pressed for time or anxious to get things started but the stares and comparisons are uncomfortable. Raise your head, chin up and read your book. Read it well.

Really. It helps.

When your name is called, save the page and look past everyone else and smile. Think of a field of freesias and how pretty a bundle will look in your home, after the baby is born. A nice little treat for yourself. They prettiest scent in the world, too.

Walk past the nasties. Walk past the naysayers. Walk past the wall with the huge assemblage of baby photos sent in by grateful ex-patients…

…and you march in to the room where the stirrups have your name written on them.

No one else matters.

Visualization can be extremely powerful…whether you are a world-class athlete, a corporate high-flyer, or an IVF patient.

Think of a future with a child and just keep that thought in your brain. Even if the IVF doesn’t work the first time, you have a child. You know your child will be meeting you somehow. And go from there.

Going through IVF is as much about results as it is about moving forward from infertility. You are beating infertility just by trying. When it works, it really works. When it does not? It means you are still beating infertility and will continue to find your way in moving forward.

As a wise man once said: whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve!

Prior to my IVF protocol, I got so many tips from so many women.  I did.  Eat this, don’t eat that, exercise this, don’t exercise that.  Coupled with the some others I met in the waiting room, holding lucky talismans and praying out loud, I realized early on that IVF was a LOT about circumstances.  But with a little bit of patience?  Circumstances COULD work in any one woman’s favor.

I took a break from my highly stressful job in entertainment.  Working 100 plus hours a week was not great for my mental and physical health (chicken parm at 3A was dinner.)  To this day, I do wonder if work stress was a factor in some of my infertility.

Not many women are able to scale back on their work load but luckily, at age 38, I was established just enough to know when well, it was enough.  I asked for a “hiatus” and spent those weeks going to my many IVF appointments on time.  I took baths.  I read good books.  I spoke to old friends. And had time to spend with my family.  What a luxury.

And I breathed.  I didn’t run for my bus any longer.  I took my time.  I didn’t stay on my feet 16 hours a day.  I sat when I was tired.  I smiled at the simple things, like a funny looking , cute dog with a long tongue.  And I cried at movies made in the 1940′s.  Just because I had the time to see them and well, because I could.

I did acupuncture.  I went on walks.  I listened to music on my ipod.  I just took it easy on my mind and body.

My circumstances changed because I learned to be more patient in my daily life.  If the paper didn’t come on time, it was no big deal.  I had plans to go the Botanical Gardens so the paper could wait.

Again, not everyone has or had the luxury I was blessed with.  Twenty years in a crazy line of work was what earned me my right to take a break.  Sure, the lack of income was a factor but the time for my IVF was necessary.  I needed that reward because otherwise, I might never have had a successful protocol.

If one could have the time as I had?  Great.  If not?  I highly recommend a few hours or at LEAST some time to spare for yourself.  If work lingers too long, stretch when no one is around and get those creaking joints limber.  Read even a few pages of a good book.  Make one phone call a day to someone you love.  Wear a favorite necklace or perfume.  Just do ONE thing a day to treat yourself humanly.

That way, during your IVF check-ups, you can feel like a mother – a woman juggling her time for her baby who also takes a nice bubble bath when the baby is safely sleeping.  There is nothing wrong with that hypothetical bubble bath.  Even if it is in a sea of baby bath toys and towels with tiny hoods.

One quick Google search will reveal that there are plenty of IVF forums to explore.  Some are focused solely on In vitro fertilization (IVF) and others are more broad ranged and open to all topics in child conception and fertility.

The one commonality found on most IVF forums is  the on line IVF lingo.  Some of the catch phrases are TTC = Trying to conceive, DPO = Days post ovulation, PG = Pregnant, etc.

And the term, “sticky bean” means an embryo (or as they say on the IVF forums, “embie” )  that sticks to the uterus so that the embryo will grow and become a real, living baby in the womb.  “Sticky dust” is like fairy dust but for the sticky beans, aka embies.
A second commonality found on IVF forums is a couch doctor/s, also known as a know it all who who is not medically licensed.

Couch doctors have some personal experience in IVF whether or not it was a successful cycle and they tend to offer advice on what treatments are appropriate and what should be happening when. It’s crucial to listen to a medically trained professional as opposed to a couch doctor.  Every woman’s IVF protocol differs from the next and no two patients are the same.
Finally, a last commonality on IVF forums is the bonding element  found on the sites.  So many women (and men) discuss everything from IVF needles to local doctors to what’s good on television.  And it is a pleasure to meet new friends who are also going through the same process.
An IVF forum is an excellent outlet for those going through IVF secretly or not so secretly. And a wonderful source of information.

Cut into shell before eating. Don't be a hero.

When I was going through my IVF protocol, my doctor suggested I develop a sweet tooth for PINEAPPLE.  Yes, pineapple!  (I only had pineapple in my cocktails prior to that.  Not kidding.)

Supposedly, eating pineapple starting on the transfer date will increase the chances of a success.  Sticky beans!  Baby dust!

FRESH pineapple.  And the fruit closest to the core.  So you have to crack that thang open and start slicing.

Pineapple is a bromeliad fruit and contains the enzyme that breaks down protein. And there may be some proteins in the uterus inhibiting the embryos from “sticking.”

This could be an old wive’s tale or a myth but I had my fresh pineapple (about a cup a day) and now I am obviously knocked up (swollen ankles!)  My doctor told me there is no concrete proof it works either but it could lend an edge to the whole procedure.

I stored my pineapples on the kitchen counter and NOT in the refrigerator.  Stays fresher.   And I ate it for three days – starting on the transfer date.

My remaining fruit?  Funnily enough, I used it as a meat tenderizer.   Which sorta makes sense as it broke down the protein in the meat.  Which is what might have been happening in my uterus.  Which is probably why, months later, all I want to do is eat cheeseburgers all day.

Hmmmm.